Stoned

I honestly don't know anything about the Rolling Stones except that the lead singer has truly massive lips and that they were the anti-Beatles. Seriously, that's my knowledge from start to finish. It's still enough for me be describing Stoned as very similar to Backbeat. Just as there was a secret fifth Beatle, there was once an additiomal Stone, too.

You see the Rolling Stones were youthful once (about 80 years ago) and in those days of endless drug taking and soulless shagging their spokesman/founder/former manager was a chap called Brian Jones. You won't hear much about him now, because he's dead; he drowned in his swimming pool. But he died a martyr, at least.

A martyr to what? you ask. Well, all we really see him do (ably played by Leo Gregory, by the way) is consume lots of narc, abuse women and be nasty to his property developer Frank Thorogood (the thoroughly good Paddy Considine - man, am I funny?) by luring him into his world of endless drunkenness and extravagance. But before the Stones go off on some US tour they fire Brian because he's constantly stoned (ooohh the title has two meanings!), has little-to-no input anymore and is not allowed into America anyway. So his death means he lived and died the Rolling Stones.

And that is absolutely everything the film has to offer. Despite good performances all round (Gregory is very sympathetic), it does get boring in bits, with the obligatory songs and grainy super-8 footage, but at least the English countryside is pretty and there's an abundance of tits. But for someone like me, the point of the film is lost, if it even exists.